Transcription from Come On An Sing-Along!
by Tom Callinan
Here is a tale to make your CRESH FLEEP. It’ll give you POOSE GIMPLES.
It’s almost guaranteed to give you POOSE GIMPLES. You see it’s a story of FEE WOLK BIGGEL TOE PEOPLE, that’s wee folk and big people too. It’s a story about Cinderella, remember her? Sure she lived in a big HARK DOUSE
with her mean old MEP STOTHER and her two SISTY UGLERS and they made her do all the WORDY DIRK while they sat around CHEATING OCKLATES and MAGGING READAZINES. Can you imagine the nerve?
Well one day Cinderella was in the kitchen FLOPP’N the MOOR, flop, flop, flop …flop, flop trying to get it right…flop, flop, flop, flop when her two SISTY UGLERS came in and said, “Guess what the PRANSOM HINCE is throwing a DANCY FESS DRALL. We’re invited, to bad you can’t go.”
So Cinderella, naturally disappointed, ran back into the kitchen (sound) teht, teht, teht, teht, dainty little thing, and she was just about to CHICASEE a FRICKEN when suddenly there was a LINDING BLASH OF FLIGHT (sound) kloosh! And standing right beside here was a FEAUTIFUL BAIRY. Now Cinderella said, “Who are you and what do you want?” And the FEAUTIFUL BAIRY said, “Well I’m your MERRY FOD GOTHER who were you expect’n.” Cinderella said, “I wasn’t expecting anyone thank you” and her MERRY FOD GOTHER said, “just as well that there is only the two of us, by the way you can make a wish.”
Cinderella looked all around, she had a relatively new broom and she had a life time of soot ahead of her so she said, “What more is there to life? But then she said, “No, I’d like to go, I’d like to go to the ball, if it’s not too much trouble.” And her MERRY FOD GOTHER said, “It’s no trouble at all” and waived her magic wand three times. WOOSH, WOOSH, it was her authorized Obe Wan Canobe signature addition wand, WOOSH! And right in front of her, POOF, Cinderella was transformed into a BAVISHING REAUTY!-2-Ah you could scarcely bare to look at her with a naked eye. She had a long white GATIN SOWN and a lovely necklace of PUBYS and REARLS. And on her feet were two tiny SASS GLIPPERS. Now her MERRY FOD GOTHER said, “you may go, but you must promise to be MOME by HIDNIGHT.”
And so she was off, (sound)SPOOOW, fastest pumpkin in the galaxy. Soon she CAST to the CAMBLE, that’s of course, came to the castle. The first PWO TEOPLE she ran into were none other than the two SISTY UGLERS. But she was soooooo beautiful they didn’t even CINERISE REGINELLA. Now, neither did the PRANSOM HINCE, he’d been inside GLAISING his RASS in honor of his mother the QUEAR DEEN.
Now, he came over and he said, “May I DAVE this HANCE?” He said, “You’re so lovely you remind me of BEEPING SLEAUTY” and we all know what happened to her, poor girl. And he was just about to ask for her MAR in HANDAGE, just horse’n around, when suddenly the TROCK CLARTED to TRICK SWELVE…bong, bong etc., it took a while to train the bell, but that’s another story for another day.
Upon hearing that Cinderella immediately BAN from the RALL,(sound) SPEWW, oops wrong door…SPEWWW, clumsy oaf. But as she did, one of the SASS GLIPPERS FLIPPED from her SOOT. I tell you it was a SHIRTY DAME. Now, the PRANSOME HINCE came over, he picked it up and he said, “Now all I have to do is find the women who SOOT this FLIPPER SITS and then I’ll know with whom I’ve LALLEN IN FOVE. He said a few other things, but there’s no time for those right now.
The next day he went from house to house but you can’t turn that around, house to house…house to house, no. Soon he came to the SINN where HOUSDELLA lived and he DOCKED on the NOOR. (sound) Knock, Knock, Knock.
Who should come to the door of course, the two SISTY UGLERS but as you probably expected their BEET where to FIG, you might say FIDN’T DIT and FIND’T again. But then it was Cinderella’s turn and guess what? Oh, oh the GLIPPER PITTED SERFECTLY and they were married and they HIVED LAPPLY ever after.
But of course, we have a moral to this story. You see Cinderella never gave up and as you walk down the pathways of life you should never give up either. Look at our examples: Christopher Columbus, he never gave up. Susan B.
Anthony, she never gave up. Abraham Lincoln, he never gave up. Oliver Twittledee. Who’s he? You see you don’t know ‘cause he gave up.
And as you walk down the pathways of life, always remember this little philosophy you see:
Some of our SMUGGLES are TRALL
And some of our BOUBLES are TRIG
But if we TRAD no HOUBLES
How could we BLECOGNIZE our RESSINGS!