Cinderella and her Sisty Uglers

Note: This cut-off transcription goes with this recording.

By: Jack Ross

Here is a tale to make your cresh fleep.
It will give you poose gimples.
It's a story for fee polk and biggle to peep
(That's "wee folk and bigger people, too")

It's the story about Cinderella who lived in a big hark douse with her mean old mep-stother and her two sisty uglers. And they made Cinderella do all the worty dirk while they sat around cheating ocolates and maging readazines.

And, one day, while Cinderella was in the kitchen, flopping the moor, the two sisty uglers came in a said, "Guess what? The prandsome hince is browing a fancy thress drall and we're invited! It's too bad that YOU can't go!"

So, Cinderella went back to the kitchen with ears in her tyes. And she was just about to ckickacee a fricen when, suddenly, there was a linding bash of flight, and standing beside her was a feautiful bairy.

And Cinderella said, "Who are you and what do you want?"

And the feautiful bairy said, "Well, I'm your mairy fod-gother."

And Cinderella said, "Well, may I go to the ball?"

And the fairy said, "That's quite a wish, but okay."

So she wave her magic wand and, instantly, Cinderella was transformed into a bavishing reauty. She had on a lone white gatin sown and a necklace of pubies and rearls, and on her feet were two tiny sass glippers.

The fairy said, "Now, you may go, but you must promise to be mome by hidnight."

And Cinderella said, "Okay." So she was off.

Soon, she cast to the camele (That's "came to the castle"). And Cinderella jumped out and the first pwo teople she ran into were the two sisty uglers. And she was so beautiful, they didn't even Cinderize recognella!

So, they introduced her to the prandsome hince, and he said, "May I dave this hance. You're so beautiful, you remind me of Beeping Sleauty!" He was just about to ask for her marr in handiage when, suddenly, the stock clarted to trike swelve, and Cinderella ban from the rall. But, as she did, one of her sass glippers flipped from her soot. The prandsome hince picked it up and said, "Now all I have to do is look for the woman whose soot this flipper sits, and I'll know whom I've laalen in fove with!"

So, the next day, he went from house to house (and you can't turn THAT around!), and, soon, he came to the Cin where housederella lived and docked on the noor. And who should answer but the two sisty uglers. He said, "I'm looking for the woman whose soot this flipper sits." Well, of course, their beet were to fig!

But, then, it was Cinderella's turn and (guess what?) the flipper pitted cerfectly, they were married, and they happed lively ever after.

Note: The following epilogue was submitted by Barry M. As my audio copy is cut off, I cannot verify it. Michael F. also has submitted this epilogue.

And that's the end of the story of Cinderella, but there's a moral to this fairy tale, because Cinderella never gave up. And as you walk down the pathways of life, never give up. Chistopher Columbus never gave up, Benjamin Franklin never gave up, Abraham Lincoln never gave up, Oliver Twiddledee, who's he? You don't know, 'cause he gave up! So always remember this little philosophy: some of our snubbles are trall, and some of our bubbles are trig, but if we try to have no humbles, how can we blecognize or ressings?